We're like a lot better than the average bears
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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