Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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