hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i think i just lost a toe
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
