All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
