After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
