The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
