His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize