You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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