I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
