he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
