I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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