I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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