Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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