just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize