You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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