So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
