nut hugger
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
