I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
