I'm so fucking centered right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
