My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
