hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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