Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
