So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
