Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
