Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
