just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize