he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
