omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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