I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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