I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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