I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize