if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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