I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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