"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
