I CAN MOONWALK!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
