He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
