better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize