So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
