I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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