I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
