Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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