I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
