you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
