i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
