We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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