I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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