I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
