this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize