bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Did I show you my penis last night?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
