Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
