You work out of a Hotel?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
