new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Can Purell be used as lube?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
